Spam Prose

A brief history in the ongoing battle between spammers and system administrators, from my point of view at least;

Spammers > send mail with similar subjects & content
Sysads > Start filtering e-mail based on content, looking for key words like ‘viagra’, ‘cialis’, ‘penis enlargement’, ‘breast enlargement’, ‘make money fast’ etc.
Spammers > Find a million different ways to spell V1agr-a
Sysads > Start searching mail for real content in the e-mail and give it a weighted score, so if it looks like it’s a real message let it through, even if it has the word viagra in it.
Spammers > Start including full sentances, hidden to the normal viewer. These sentances are repetitive and strange, where do they get this stuff?

I wonder ‘did someone at the spam company write these? or did they scan in some bad book and just cut it to pieces to insert random sentances into their spam cannon?’

I am seeing these ALL the time now. Below are some actual excerpts from spam I received this morning:

I can never describe the walk back to my truck. And someone was waiting for me, just around the corner. Sounds good to me, I said. Love what you do and do what you love.

He extended his hand by way of introduction. The same thing we do every night, he replied. I can never describe the walk back to my truck. I’d thought it was sad to hate the forest the way she’d done.

I’m evil. Hi, I said to all the animals. But under the circumstances, I’d do it again. Love, and hate, are powerful emotions.

Sounds good to me, I said. But under the circumstances, I’d do it again. Can you tell me the answer? she asked. Hi, I said to all the animals. (Things were looking worse.)

Suddenly, he disappeared. There were many examples of animals all around. I wished so deeply for the change to come about. But this was a long road, and should I walk down it, I might never come back.

I wished so deeply for the change to come about. The same thing we do every night, he replied. Love, and hate, are powerful emotions. Hi, I said to all the animals.

He extended his hand by way of introduction. What are we going to do tonight? I asked. Thick walls are important. Are you getting pieces of this?

I’d thought it was sad to hate the forest the way she’d done. What are we going to do tonight? I asked. Just tell me your answer, even if it sucks. We’re going to regret this, my friend said. I’d thought it was sad to hate the forest the way she’d done.

I wished so deeply for the change to come about. I was just thinking. Are you getting pieces of this? What is the answer?

The same thing we do every night, he replied. It was cold and sweet. How embarrassing. Can you tell me the answer? she asked.

He extended his hand by way of introduction. That could well be the answer. This is what I like, I’d tell myself. The continuation of our species matters more than you can imagine. It is the single most important thing we can do.

This was a place without the internet, without email, without the rush of business meetings and untapped desires. Are you getting pieces of this? But this was a long road, and should I walk down it, I might never come back. Can you tell me the answer? she asked. (I’d seen something really weird. 🙂