“So this is it. We’re going to die.” – Arthur DentÂ
So 8 months after it was announced that Antioch College was closing, and 8 months of holding on to hope that the Antioch University Board Of Trustees would listen to alumni, pledges and reason, it looks like it’s finally over. They are saying only one year suspension, maybe more but as I wrote last June, I don’t care about the ‘place’ in Yellow Springs, I care about the Antioch College community.. the people and the unbroken chain of continuity between those that came before me and those that are there today. Suspending for 1 year shatters that.
and the thing is.. last June, before Reunion, I was ready to hear, from those that knew what was going on, that it was just unsustainable and this had to happen. I wasn’t going to be happy about it but I was ready to let go. The problem is now thanks to all thats been going on under antiochians.org I believe more than ever that if today the Antioch University Board of Trustees had taken a chance and let the college go to the ACCC … that the alumni could have saved the school and made it amazing. I was ready to dive head first into this effort.
We all got up to dance, Oh, but we never got the chance!
The little radio station in my head just played this for me.. scares me sometimes:
 “Now the half-time air was sweet perfume
While the sergeants played a marching tune.
We all got up to dance,
Oh, but we never got the chance!
`cause the players tried to take the field;
The marching band refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the music died?”
So lets see.. half time air = BOT meeting, February 2008. Deadline for the ACCC proposal to be heard by the BOT and a letter of agreement will be generated that allows the rebuilding of the college to begin.
Sergeants = ACCC
“We all got up to dance, Oh, but we never got the chance!” – There were so many of us ready to do so much. The BOT clearly just does not ‘get it’ at all.. they just missed the chance to be part of something amazing.
`cause the players tried to take the field; = ‘we’ tried to take the college.. to save it.
Marching band refused to yield – BOT ignored logic and what ‘was right’. I’m still shocked. As much as it was fun to pretend their were evil incarnate etc, I never really believed in my heart.. I mean, I kinda know some of these people
What was revealed? That sometimes, no matter how good an idea or cause is, “what’s right” isn’t what happens. What can we do? Fight, if there’s hope to fix it. If there isn’t then salvage what you can and walk away.
There’s some talk of an ‘Antioch in Exile’ over at The Blaze but I’m not ready to go headfirst into that mindset yet. At this point I’m just angry. I want someone to do something horribly irreversable and rude to Toni Murdoch’s car. I want to pay folks to picket Art Zucker’s house. I want to … well.. I wont say cause I might actually do this one, but suffice to say ‘I’m as mad as hell and I’m not taking anymore!’
“Never underestimate the ability of a large group of smart people to make stupid decisions” – An ‘away message’ of an antiochian friend recently.
So I’m pretty broken right now.. maybe even more than I was last June because I’ve built up hopes & dreams, as well as new friends & rekindled old ones, over the past 8 months. I care exponentially more about Antioch now than I did last June.. and yet it still is closing. <sigh>
More later…
Here’s an e-mail I sent to a friend who asked how I was doing
“Trying to put on the brave face and act normal while having conversations with Owen (4 year old) about Power Rangers and his new bunk bed while inside wanting to scream and hop on a plane to Dayton right now.
I feel hopeless. Helpless. Useless. There is just something so deeply wrong about all this it irks me. I know … I know.. Life’s not fair. I guess I’ve lived a sheltered life if having a college thousands of miles away close is the worst thing to happen.. but .. it’s just not suppsoed to. Antioch is immortal. Untouchable. Nonstop. She might fall here and there, stumble, even go the wrong direction, but.. this just cant happen. Cant. This cannot be. Something is out of balance.. something big.. if Antioch can really fall like this, to greed and by the actions of a select group of people who clearly don’t ‘get’ Antioch, even if they are alums who claim to care, I just don’t believe they do. If a ‘REAL’ alum were on that board I dont care what numbers were put in front of them, or what lawyers told them to think, their hearts & souls would grab hold of them and force them to tip the tables and resist… fight… Do not go gently into that gentle goodnight. Rage Rage at the dying of the light.
So… yeah… not doing well here. But thanks for asking. I guess soon that’s all we’ll have.. each other. After this any place the university opens is not Antioch College. For me.. my Antioch dies when the doors close.
-Matt”
Thanks for being candid, Matt. After I saw you on chat the other night I was thinking about what we were talking about and suddenly realized 2 things:
1) I was genuinely concerned about the well-being of a person with whom I had never shared physical space with, gone to classes with, gotten drunk with, been on comcil with, etc… Yet our connection to the same community collapsed seemingly axiomatic requirements into nothing, transcending both space and time.
2) If we are talking about the same community, both of us know there is no such thing as a door that can never be gotten into. Doors can be closed but they can’t be locked. This is not due to a design flaw common to Antiochian doors, despite the rumors. It has something to do with our ability to negotiate the impossible. Sometimes it makes sense, sometimes you keep going because the person next to you is going, sometimes you quit in frustration.
In all cases we get up the next day and do it again, and that seems to have worked against some pretty formidible odds for a century and a half. Long story short: Hang in there, I give you my personal guarantee that I’d rather get hauled to lockup than sit idle while they close those doors, so you have at least 30 seconds of good live television to look forward to, right?
Matt, I searched this website and I can’t find an email address for you. Granted, I didn’t look very hard but I have to get all my munchkins in bed :0).
I took a moment today to fill out the ballot on line (for the college alumni board). While doing that, I started glancing over the Alumni Awards. As I read the description of the J.D. Dawson Award you came to mind right away. I have not been very good about keeping up on Antiochian things but whenever I get the time (like holding a sick child in the middle of the night:0)), I goggle Antioch. Thanks to all your contributions to the web (and beyond) I feel updated and, usually, very inspired. (I bawled all through the 2008 graduation ceremony segments you posted to you tube, LOVED the song about “Be Ashamed To Die” it reminded me of something you would write and play ;0)) I have been impressed at how much passion and time you have given for the Antioch cause while having a young family and your own business. In short, Matt, YOU ROCK.
Just thought you might like to know you’ve been nominated.
Melanie