I just searched around on the net and I couldn’t find ANYONE else posting the old joke about two horses named Moe & Joe. This stupid mostly unfunny run-on joke was a staple in the YRUU circles I traversed in the mid 80’s and I can’t believe it’s not on the net anywhere. So in an effort to at least get a draft of the pieces I remember of it, here goes. I welcome edits from those of you who might remember parts I’ve forgotten or mangled (I suspect the last time I heard it was in 1987, so 19 years of faded memories adds up). Note – The for granting credit where it’s due the best telling of this joke at a conference coffee house goes to Mr. Brian Jenkins who at YRUU week on Star Island in 1986 literally made everyone sit through about 20 minutes of telling before even getting close to the punch line. Straight faced and determined throughout the whole telling, ignoring heckling calls and various escalating threats from the audience, he kept going. I believe we finally threw him in the ocean as punishment. 
So there were these two horses named Moe & Joe. Moe & Joe were brothers and they were pretty close, they were like two peas in a pod, two seeds in a joint, two fish in the sea… they were like THIS (hold pointer and ring finger out twisted together).. and that’s pretty hard for two horses to be.
So the the local village has a gathering one year and some of the farmers decide to have a horse race. Moe and Joe both enter. The race starts and Moe & Joe zoom off leading the pack. It’s Moe in the lead, then Joe, then Moe, Joe, Moe, Joe, Moe, Joe.. MOE… Moe wins the race by a nose!
Then a little while after that the county fair comes round and Moe & Joe enter that race. The race starts and Moe & Joe zoom off leading the pack. It’s Moe in the lead, then Joe, then Moe, Joe, Moe, Joe, Moe, Joe.. MOE… Moe wins the race by a nose!
After the race Joe walks over to Moe and says ‘Moe, you’ve always been faster, but I have a favor to ask, just once I’d like to see what it’s like to win a race. Can you let me win the next race? I’d be forever grateful.’
Moe says ‘Why of course Joe, the next race, you win, after all you’re my brother and we’re pretty close, we’re like two peas in a pod, two seeds in a joint, two fish in the sea, we are like THIS (hold pointer and ring finger out twisted together).. and that’s pretty hard for two horses to be.”
So the Tri-County Horse Race comes around a little while after that and of course both Moe and Joe enter the race. The race starts and Moe & Joe zoom off leading the pack. It’s Moe in the lead, then Joe, then Moe, Joe, Moe, Joe, Moe, Joe.. MOE… Moe wins the race by a nose!
After the race Joe trots over to Moe and says ‘Moe! What happened? You said you were going to let me win the race? I thought we had agreed on this, why did you win that race?”
Moe said ‘I’m sorry Joe, I just got caught up in the moment, it won’t happen again, the next race, you win, after all you’re my brother and we’re pretty close, we’re like two peas in a pod, two seeds in a joint, two fish in the sea, we are like THIS (hold pointer and ring finger out twisted together).. and that’s pretty hard for two horses to be.
So the State Quarter-finals race comes around and Moe & Joe both enter.
[Repeat the past race and results and discussion afterwards for a bunch of races finally getting to the kentucky derby or some big race which has the same results, Moe wins and Joe confronts him]
Then a dog walks up and says to Moe & Joe ‘Let me get this straight, you two are brothers and … ” (repeat entire joke so far again in the dogs recap of the joke).
In response Joe turns to Moe and says ‘Look Moe, A Talking Dog”
The end.
This joke is still told at YRUU cons but with only one difference (that I can tell). Instead of Moe and Joe, the names of the horses are Herman and Merman.
Thanks for this post!
Ok you’ve got to stress the fact tht Moe and Joe were race horses. Moe always wins. Joe is friends with the dog. After every race Joe would be consoled by the dog. Afte loosing so many times they were going to send Joe to the glue factory. So Joe tells Moe that he has to let him win or he was going to killed. Joe tells the dog that Moe is going to let him win. So the big race comes and it’s Moe and Joe neck to neck, Moe and Joe Neck to neck. Well at the last minute Moe goes ahead and wins. So they take Joe away and the dog goes to yell at Moe. Goddamn Moe, Joe is your brother and all you had to do was let him win one time but now he has to go to the glue factory so Moe looks at him and says “damn a talking dog”.
I remember this joke. I was told it around 1986 or so. I am from Seattle so it traveled well. It was different and longer but overall the same joke. To this day my friends will still say “Look Moe,a talking dog!” . I would really like to know more of the history behind this joke.
Greetings and felicitations. I was at Summer’s End last month (the reunion/coffeehouse night; yes, it’s still running), and a friend told this joke.
I’m an old YRUUer who’s just getting back into alumni circles, and while I’m connected to Summer’s End, LRY, and YRUU of NH/VT/MA: Late 80s to Early 90s (all of which have Facebook groups), I’m looking for where the Star Island alumni hang out (ditto for Rowe, Ferry Beach, and anyone else). You can reach me at (undo the obvious munging):
jwatson8 [at] comcast [dot] net
Ciao,
John C. Watson