REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION SCHEDULE

Got this today and thought it was worth sharing a giggle. -Matt
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REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION SCHEDULE
New York, NY

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Ceremonial Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Katherine Harris on ‘Are Elections Really Necessary?’
7:30 PM Announcement: Lincoln Memorial Renamed for Ronald Reagan
7:35 PM Trent Lott – ‘Re-segregation in the 21st Century’
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury: It’s What’s for Dinner
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos Are After Your Children
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: The Government of the Future
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings ‘Can’t Help Lovin’ Dat Man’
9:05 PM Phyllis Schlafly speaks on ‘Why Women Shouldn’t Be Leaders’
9:10 PM EPA Address #2: Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires
9:30 PM break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second Prayer led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Carl Rove Lecture: Doublespeak Made Simple
10:30 PM Rumsfeld Lecture/Demonstration: How to Squint and Talk Macho Even When You Feel Squishy Inside
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark ‘deer in headlights’ stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft Demonstration: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt
10:45 PM GOP’s Tribute to Tokenism, featuring Colin Powell & Condi Rice
10:46 PM Ann Coulter’s Tribute to ‘Joe McCarthy, Great American Patriot’
10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: A Drain on Our Nation’s Economy
11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata
11:20 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 PM Blame Clinton
11:40 PM Newt Gingrich speaks on ‘The Sanctity of Marriage’
11:41 PM Announcement: Ronald Reagan to be added to Mt. Rushmore
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

WERU

I’ve mentioned before about the local community radio station I volunteer at, so I’ll spare you the long essay. A few things I wanted to mention though

1) We are now OFFICIALLY streaming on the web. This is actually streaming from my basement server, but until a few days ago this was top secret insider trading information, but now the cats out of the bag. You can get to the stream via the WERU Website or go directly there by linking to the stream directly here. Windows folks – You’ll need something other than the default Windows Media Player to listen, perhaps WinAmp or iTunes

2) The Fair this weekend – Well first off, even for you ‘away’ folks they will be broadcasting from the infield stage on Sunday from 11 AM – 6 PM. Some pretty cool performers/speakers will be on there during that time. SONiA, David Mallett, David Barsamian of Alternative Radio, and the band featuring the drummer from the Blue Oyster Cult, the Brain Surgeons. You can read all about it at the web page (that I designed) at http://fair.weru.org/

So for those of you in this area, or interested in a last minute road trip to Maine, come on up, it’s gonna be one heck of a fair. Cheap admission, lots of good music and food.