I have a family member who forwards all sorts of internet jokes & novelties on to allthe folks in her address book every day. Usually thse range from cute websites of flash animations to poems and other internet jokes/notes that I’ve seen before. The other day she sent a humorous political piece titled ‘For Democrats’. The message was “Things you have to believe to be a Republican today.” It had some big generalizations but was mildly humourous.. I pretty much skimmed it, smiled and moved on.
Turns out someone else on her mailing list is very much a republican and took offense and took it upon himself to post verbose responses to every point. I’m posting it here because his responses truly fascinate me, not because they are interesting or noteworthy but because they are from such a polar opposite of where I am politically and what I believe that it’s amazing to see him so adamantly state the things he does here… he’s not just quoting stuff, he really really believes all this stuff..passionately. What’s even more interesting about this, I have no idea who this person is and how they know my family member, he just took it upon himself to respond to her AND everyone she sent the note to with his rebuttal.
I don’t talk politics with folks often and when I do I tend to keep my way left leanings close to my chest until I know where they stand. So basically I have just never seen another person make such completely right wing /conservative statements in an e-mail.. on talk radio sure.. but wow, this is just too much. What world is this person from? (and can we ship him back there (with Bush/Cheney)?
So below is the copy of his note. I’ve removed names here whereever possible to protect their identities. FOR THE RECORD – I am NOT the author of this piece, in fact I pretty much disagree with everything he writes here. Just wanted to state that once more before I post this, in case someone else reads this and thinks that I believe any of this stuff.
Trust me, I don’t.
On with the show…
READ MY RESPONSES. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU TRULY BELIEVE THESE THINGS AND WILL VOTE FOR SOMEONE WITH KERRY’S RECORD.
“Things you have to believe to be a Republican today.”
1. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
NOT SO, I AM DISAPPOINTED AS HELL WITH RUSH LIMBAUGH FOR THIS LACK OF JUDGEMENT. REPUBLICANS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SMARTER THAN THAT. HOWEVER BECOMING ADDICTED TO PAIN KILLERS BECAUSE OF CHRONIC BACK PAIN IS EASIER UNDERSTOOD THAN USING ILLEGAL DRUGS FOR THE KICK.
2. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
ABSOLUTELY WE NEED TO GET OUT AND NOW AND THROW THE BUMS OUT OF NEW YORK. NEVER IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND HAS THERE BEEN A MORE CROOKED AND USELESS ORGANIZATION. CAN YOU GIVE ME ONE INSTANCE WHERE THEY HAVE BEEN BENEFICIAL? REMEMBER THE MEN OF BLACKHAWK DOWN WHO WERE UNDER UN LEADERSHIP AND NO ONE COULD GIVE THEM SUPPORT.
3. Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.
ABSOLUTELY, THERE ARE LEGAL DRUGS FOR PAIN. SEE NO. 1. IF IT RELIEVES GLAUCOMA THEN PRESCRIBE IT AND CONTROL IT BUT NO TOLERENCE FOR IT ON THE STREETS. M**** YOU AND I BOTH KNOW OR KNEW PEOPLE WHO HAD LOST BRAIN CELLS DUE TO MJ AND I AM PROUD TO SAY I AM 59 AND HAVE NEVER SMOKED A SINGLE JOINT. BUT IF I HAD I WOULD HAVE INHALED AND ADMITTED IT.
4. “Standing Tall for America” means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.
THANK THE UNIONS FOR THIS. IF THEY HAD NOT PUSHED SIMPLE NO SKILL LABOR COSTS TO THE POINT IT BECAME FINANCIALLY WISE TO MOVE IT WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED. ALSO THANK OUR PITIFUL EDUCATION SYSTEM FOR THEIR FAILINGS WHEN IT COMES TO SOME HIGH TECH JOBS GOING OVER. THE EDUCATION SYSTEM HAS BEEN A SHAMBLES SINCE LBJ DECIDED THAT THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT HAD TO GET INTO EDUCATION.
5. A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
I AM A BIT LIBERAL ON THIS ONE. I CAN ACCEPT ABORTION IN THE FIRST TRIMESTER BUT ABSOLUTELY NOT AFTER. THE ONLY CORPORATION I KNOW THAT MAKES BAD DECISIONS ABOUT MANKIND IS THE JUDICIAL BRANCH OF THE STATE AND FEDERAL GOVERNMENTS. THEY OVERSTEP THEIR RESPONSIBILITY TERRIBLY
6. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
DON’T KNOW HE HASN’T TALKED TO ME ABOUT IT. BUT NEVER BEEN HOMPHOBIC BUT CAN’T STAND HILLIARY OR HER DRUG SMOKING, DRAFT DODGING, WOMAN ABUSING, RAPING, AND I BELIEVE MURDERER HUSBAND.
7. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.
EXCUSE ME, MY SON B**** IS IN THE AIR FORCE AND HIS PAY RAISES HAVE BEEN ONE HELL OF A LOT BETTER UNDER BUSH THAN CLINTON. ALSO IT WASNT TILL AFTER BUSH CAME IN AND CONDITIONS IMPROVED THAT HE DECIDED TO BECOME A LIFER HE IS NOW IN HIS 9TH YEAR SO HE HAS SEEN BOTH. BY THE WAY HE JUST GOT BACK FROM KUWAIT. ALSO SPENT A TOUR IN UZBEKISTAN. SAYS UZBEK WAS THE HELL HOLE OF THE WORLD
8. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.
OR PRESIDENT ALA CLINTON. ARNOLD IS REPUBLICAN IN NAME ONLY. HELL HE IS MARRIED TO A KENNEDY FOR GOODNESS SAKES. HMMM, DO TED KENNEDY ORJOHN KENNEDY GET A PASS ON THIS ONE? SEEMS I REMEMBER A DROWNED LADY AND ANOTHER ONE RAPED IN SOUTH FLORIDA BY OUR BOY TED. WONDER WHERE HE WOULD HAVE BEEN IF HE HAD BEEN A REPUBLICAN? SUCH HYPROCRISY.
9. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.
STUPID STATEMENT. I DONT BELIEVE IT IS MY TAX MONEY’S RESPONSIBILITY TO PROVIDE THEM.
10. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
I DON’T BELIEVE THE FRENCH AND GERMANY OR RUSSIA CAN BE DESCRIBED AS LONG TIME ALLIES. SEEMS TO ME THEY ESPECIALLY THE FRENCH OWE US BIG TIME. GUESS WHO WAS THE BIGGEST TAKERS IN THE OIL FOR FOOD DEAL. I DONT REMEMBER ANYONE DEMANDING ANYTHING FROM THEM. I DO REMEMBER THEM WANTING TO BE IN ON THE REBUILDING TO MAKE MONEY. THE FRENCH ARE SISSIES AND WIMPS ANYWAY.
11. HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.
NO REPUBLICAN BELIEVES THIS. HMOS BECAME THE VOGUE DURING THE CLINTON ADMINISTRATION. LORD DO YOU KNOW WHAT I PAY FOR INSURANCE BEING SELF EMPLOYED. IT IS TERRIBLE. AND I NEVER GET A DIME BECAUSE OF THE HIGH $2400 DEDUCTABLE. BUT…. THANKS PRESIDENT BUSH FOR THE MEDICAL SAVINGS ACCOUNT THAT IS NOW BEING MADE AVAILABLE TO ALL NOT JUST THE SELF EMPLOYED AND FOR THE FULL AMOUNT OF THE DEDUCTABLE NOT 80% AS IT WAS.
12. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
WE ARE TRYING TO WIN THE HEARTS OF A BRAIN WASHED NATION. IT IS IN THE BEST INTEREST TO GET AS MANY ON OUR SIDE THERE AS WE CAN. EVENTUALLY THE IRAQI OIL MAY BE OUR SAVING GRACE ON OUR ENERGY COST. AS FAR AS HEALTH CARE, NO HOSPITAL IN THIS COUNTRY CAN TURN YOU AWAY IN AN EMERGENCY AND THE COST GETS ADDED ON TO EVERYONE ELSE WHO PAYS. INSURANCE IS NOT A RIGHT, IT IS A PRIVILEGE THAT YOU MAKE A DECISION TO HAVE. A LOT OF YOUNG PEOPLE DO NOT TAKE HEALTH INSURANCE BECAUSE AS YOUNG PEOPLE THEY DONT FEEL THE NEED. I KNOW SEVERAL PEOPLE LIKE THIS. ANYWAY IT WOULD INTERFERE WITH THEIR BMW PAYMENT. NATIONAL HEALTH CARE IS A DISASTER ALL OVER THE WORLD. NOTICE HOW MANY CANADIANS COME TO THE USA FOR CARE. I HAVE FRIENDS IN UK AND NEW ZEALAND WHO WILL ATTEST TO THE DISASTER THERE. KEEP THE GOVERNMENT OUT OF HEALTH CARE. MEDICARE IS A JOKE UNLESS YOU HAVE A SUPPLEMENT THAT COSTS ALMOST AS MUCH AS REGULAR INSURANCE. I KNOW I PAY S*****’S
13. Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
GLOBAL WARMING IS A JOKE. I CAN TELL YOU THIS FROM SCIENTIFIC PROOF. WE ARE DUE TO ENTER ANOTHER ICE AGE. I HOPE WE DO HAVE A BIT OF WARMING TO KEEP THE TWO MILES OF ICE OFF NEW YORK AS IT WAS IN THE LAST ONES AND HAPPEN ABOUT EVERY 10000 YEARS. I AM NOT RELIGIOUS BUT IS IT ANY HARDER TO ACCEPT THE CREATIONIONISM AS THE IDEA THAT AT ONE TIME ALL THE MASS IN THE UNIVERSE WAS IN A SINGULARITY AS SMALL AS AN ATOM. AND DID YOU EVER TRY TO FIGURE HOW THE STARS AND UNIVERSES GOT SO FAR APART IN JUST 13 BILLION YEARS. WE ARE DISPROVING PARTS OF THIS THEORY EVERY DAY. HAVENT DISPROVED THE CREATION THEORY YET. HELL, I BELIEVE WE MAY BE SEEDED HERE FROM SOME OTHER UNIVERSE.
14. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a “we can’t find Bin Laden” diversion.
THIS IS SO MUCH BULLSHIT. WE USED HIM TO FIGHT THE IRANIANS. MY ONLY FEAR OF THE OUTCOME OF THE PRESENT SITUATION IS WE WILL ALLOW ANOTHER SADDAAM TO TAKE TOE HOLD IN IRAQ. THIS CONNECTION OF CHENEY WITH HALIBURTON IS GETTING REALLY REDICULOUS. WE WORKED FOR BILL WATSON WHO WAS A TERRORIST WHEN IT CAME TO WORK BUT WE ARE NOT TO BLAME. REMEMBER HOW THAT BASTARD TREATED WOMEN. BET HE WAS A DEMOCRAT.
15. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
JUST REMEMBERBUSH DID NOT SAY ANYTHING THAT CLINTON, GORE, KERRY, DASCHEL, HILLIARY, KENNEDY, AND A HOST OF OTHERS WHO ARE CALLING BUSH A LIAR SAID. EVERY ONE OF THE ONES WHO FOUGHT AGAINST US GOING TO WAR BELIEVED HE HAD WMD. ALSO WE KNOW HE DID, HE USED THEM AGAINST THE KURDS AND IRANIANS. WE WILL STILL FIND THEM. HELL WE HAVE FOUND FIGHTER JETS BURIED IN THE DESERT SANDS. EVENTUALLY THEY WILL TURN UP UNLESS THEY WERE TRUCKED TO SYRIA BEFORE THE INVASION. JUST PRAY THEY DON’T END UP IN AN AMERICAN CITY PUT HERE BY AL QUIDA BEING TRAINED IN IRAQ.
16. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
LIMIT THE POWERS EXACTLY TO THE CONSTITUTION AND DO NOT AMEND IT UNLESS IT IS TRULY IMPORTANT. ON GAY MARRIAGES, I WOULD SUPPORT CIVIL UNIONS IN A MINUTE BUT TO OPEN UP MARRIAGES TO CHANGE IS WRONG. MARRIAGE IS SUCH A JOKE AMONG THE YOUNG TODAY ANYWAY. IT IS TOO EASY TO GET MARRIED AND WAY TO EASY TO GET DIVORCED. DO WE NOW ALLOW BIGAMISTS, PEOPLE TO MARRY THEIR SHEEP, DOGS OR WHAT ELSE. WHAT ABOUT SOME BASTARD WANTING TO MARRY A KID TO MAKE HIS CHILD ABUSE LEGAL. IT JUST OPENS TOO MANY DOORS. MOST OF THE BENEFITS OF MARRIAGE CAN BE HAD WITH WILLS, DIRECTIONS TO HOSPITALS, AND MOST HEALTH INSURANCE POLICIES TODAY ALLOW COVERAGE OF DOMESTIC PARTNERS.
17. The public has a right to know about Hillary’s cattle trades, but George Bush’s driving record is none of our business.
EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT HIS DUI BUT HILLARY’S CATTLE FUTURE TRADES WERE A JOKE. A RICH PERSON WHO WANTED TO GET AROUND DONATION LAWS BET BOTH WAYS FOR HER. SHE COULD NOT LOSE.
18. You support states’ rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.
THIS IS A SLAP AT THE PATRIOT ACT AND IS ABSURB. WE ARE AT WAR AND IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN COMMON TO MAKE RESTRICTIVE RULES DURING WAR.REMEMBER THE JAPANESE INTERNMENT CAMPS UNDER ROOSEVELT. I BELIEVE THAT VERY WELL MAY HAVE BEEN NECESSARY AND NOW WE PAY MILLIONS BECAUSE OF IT. WE SHOULD HAVE HAD SOME RULES DURING THE VIET NAM WAR AND PEOPLE LIKE JANE FONDA AND KERRY WOULD HAVE BEEN TRIED FOR TREASON FOR WHAT THEY DID. I LOST A BEST FRIEND AND BROTHER IN LAW IN THAT WAR BECAUSE THE COUNTRY LOST ITS WILL TO FIGHT. BUT I BLAME LBJ MOSTLY FOR NOT LETTING US FIGHT IT. HE WAS TOO BUSY BECOMING A MULTI MILLIONAIRE BY SUPPORTING THE MILITARY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX. HOW CAN A GUY GO INTO THE WHITE HOUSE WORTH A FEW HUNDRED THOUSAND AND COME OUT WORTH MILLIONS? WELL FIRST HE HAD TO KILL KENNEDY BECAUSE KENNEDY WAS GOING TO PULL US OUT OF NAM.
19. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the ’80s is irrelevant.
DONT GIVE A DAMN WHAT HE DID IN THE 60S UNLESS IT WAS RAPE OR HARASSMENT OF OTHER WOMEN. THAT IS A CHARACTER FLAW. BUSH DID SOME DRINKING IN HIS YOUTH BUT WHO DIDN’T BUT I HAVE NEVER HARASSED OR RAPED ANYONE.
20. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
I DONT UNDERSTAND THIS NO MATTER WHO IS PRESIDENT. IT HAS BEEN AROUND SINCE THE 60S. HELL WE GAVE CASTRO A TICKER TAPE PARADE UNDER KENNEDY BEFORE WE REALIZED WHAT HE WAS. IT WAS AN HONEST MISTAKE. ACTUALLY VIET NAM IS DOING DAMN WELL NOW FROM WHAT I HAVE READ AND IF CHINA BECOMES EDUCATED IT WILL SLOWLY REFORM TO DEMOCRACY MAYBE AND BECOME QUITE AN ALLY. NOT ALL COUNTRIES ARE CUT OUT TO BE DEMOCRACIES. MANY ESPECIALLY THE UNEDUCATED ONES ARE BETTER OFF WITH A MORE CONTROLLING GOVERNMENT.
Feel free to pass these on. If you don’t send them to at least ten other people, we’re likely to be stuck with Bush for 4 more years.
Do you want that?
YES, YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES. AFTER GORES SPEECH YESTERDAY, I CRINGE AT THE THOUGHT OF THAT MAN AT THE HELM. HE HAS TOTALLY LOST IT. HE ALWAYS WAS SCARY BUT THIS PROVES HE IS INSANE. AND DO YOU REALLY WANT A FLIP-FLOP WHO CANT TAKE A STAND ON ANYTHING AND WHO WOULD TURN THE MILITARY OVER TO THE UN.
AND YES I AM DAMN PROUD TO BE A CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN AND WILL VOTE WITH MY TOUCH AND WITH MY MONEY TO KEEP BUSH. OUR ECONOMY IS COMING BACK AFTER CLINTON RUINED IT. WE HAVE MADE THE WORLD SAFER, OUR TAXES ARE LESS, AND IF WE COULD GET THE LIBERALS TO LET US DRILL OUR OWN OIL AND MORE IMPORTANTLY BUILD SOME REFINERIES WE WOULD NOT BE FACING THESE GAS PRICES. WHO DO YOU KNOW WHO HAS VISITED THE NORTH SLOPES OF ALASKA. IF A TREE FALLS THERE AND NOONE HEARS IT DOES IT MAKE A NOISE. HEE, HEE.
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